Moment by Moment

But it only seemed like a few days, he loved her so much.

Genesis 29:20b - The Message

I think the mistake we make is we measure so much in the language and confines of years.

What we fail to realize is that it is the moments that count...

Moments of laughter

Moments of tears

Moments of expectancy

And moments of uncertainty

Moments of life and love

Most of the greatest moments in my life have been shared with Kimberly Michelle Porter

Who has made sense of the madness that is Jon Porter

Who has made sense, and joy, and purpose of my moments...

I regret those moments that were spoiled by my selfishness

And I treasure the fact that she has continued to love me through all those moments

I give God all the praise for every moment

I give God praise for being faithful to restore and repair those times when I've been less than stellar

Our marriage has never been perfect

But our God has always been faithful

On March 25, Kim and I celebrated 19 years of marriage

She is more beautiful than ever

She is more Godly than I can imagine

She is more loving than I could possible deserve

And I commit to love her

Moment by moment

Less Like Scars

I am having a bit a trouble putting thoughts to words recently...
Wanted to share this with whoever needs it today like I do.



Peace

Still Standing...

I didn't want to.  I put it off as long as I possibly could.  I don't like to run.  At all.  But there I was, staring down the treadmill, trying to will myself to start.
Who am I kidding?
It took all I had to just stand up.
But then I met Jane.
Jane is a 8 year old hero of monumental proportions.

Jane Richard was 7 years old when the bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.  Jane's mother suffered a head injury.
Jane lost her older brother to evil and cowardice.
Jane lost her leg.
But she didn't lose her smile, her courage, her hope.

I don't know Jane Richard at all.  I just saw a picture of her showing off her new prostetic leg.  It's called, "The Cheetah".
And there she was...
Smiling
Ready to run
But most importantly, still standing

When your world seems to be crumbling all around you it's so easy to want to cower in the rubble.
You were never made for the rubble.

It's not a matter of if your world will be shaken...
It's a matter of when.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. - Ephesians 6:13

Sometimes all you can do is stand.  But that is where you start.  I've always thought that I'd be the kind of guy that could take a punch and keep standing.  A real "You never knocked me down, Ray" sort of fella.  I was beginning to doubt that.
And then I met Jane.

Stop whining
Pray more
Dream bigger
Love extravagantly
Live always

Still standing...

Introduce yourself to Jane with this video.  Check out the smile!
http://boston.cbslocal.com/video?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=9973104

Check out my new website:
www.jon-porter.com

To My Daughters (Whom I Love...)

I'm struggling here.

Seems like I'm not a part of your world much anymore.  

Taking a little getting use to.  Didn't use to be like that.

Use to be you would plop the whole of your world right into my lap.  

We would turn page after page after page.

We would talk about all the places you'd go...
and not forgetting the soap...
and the perils of giving a mouse a cookie... 

We would say "goodnight, Moon" and I would say I'll love you forever.

But lately your world is encapsulated in a 2.31x4.5 inch battery powered box.

Where there is...

no filter

no grace

no forgiveness

and no common sense

Don't let the world define you in 140 characters or less.

You are so much more than that.

Now let's talk about boys.

I don't like them.

Any of them.

I watch how they preen and strut in public and social media like peacocks.

I don't like peacocks.

I read how they think women are objects.

And I want to punch them.

And then I want to punch their parents.

To them you're a conquest...

A chance to let everybody think how 'bad' they are.

I know how 'bad' I am.

You are not a conquest.

You are a princess.  

A priceless, beautiful, fragile vessel of potential and promise.

You are my baby.

My daughter.

And because of that you may not like me for awhile...

And that's ok.

See...

Boys just have to win your heart.

You're heart is stupid (relax, all of ours are)

Boys have to earn my trust.

That won't be easy.

How can I say all of this?

I was once one of them.

I have the acid washed jeans, mixtape, and picture of me with a mullet to prove it.

I grew out of it.

Some of them might as well.

Maybe.  
Someday.

But until that happens, I want you to know I don't like them.

More importantly, I want them to know I don't like them. 

BTW - to any possible suitors for my daughters…

Remember Liam Neeson's character in Taken?  

I thought he was soft.

And another thing...

I know you have been hurt.  I am so sorry.  

You've grown stronger.

You're healing.

I'm proud of you.

People have hurt you because they covet your shine.  

Wasn't it Taylor who sang "people throw rocks at things that shine"?

So keep shining.

And pray for your dad.  

When you hurt, I hurt and want to hurt those who've hurt you.

Evidently that's frowned upon.

God's grace is infinite.

Mine is finite.

Pray that I always use His, because with some of these folks, mine is below fumes.

I know this is long...

Do what you want to do.

Be who God created you to be.

But do and be with all you have and are.

Don't settle.

Push yourself.

Forgive yourself.

Dare yourself to be more than you've ever imagined.

You are a Mount Vesuvius of potential, strength, character, talent, faith, compassion, grace, mercy, love, beauty, and awesomeness...

...and I stand in wonder of every moment you announce your presence to the world.

You will make mistakes and dumb choices.  
You so take after your dad

(The looks and brains you got from mom - the propensity for stubbornness, impulsiveness, and downright stupidity - that's all me)

And you're going to be ok.

You are so much more than awesome.

You're my daughter.

And whether I'm invited into your world or watch from the edges...

I'll love you forever.

I'll like you for always.

I'll be here.

Dad

Sometimes Dads Fail

Sometimes dads fail.

I did yesterday.  It was EPIC.

I had been carrying the weight of circumstances around all afternoon.  

I had chosen to marinate in the drama and it had soaked in.  

I was fretting.  I was scared.  I was angry.

I was ticking…

What happened is irrelevant.  If I were to describe it I would inevitably try to justify my actions.  There was no justification.  I was a jerk.

I made Gru in Despicable Me look like Charles Ingalls.

I broke the heart of my baby girl.

Which leads me to this…

How do I insure that my children know they mean the world to me when I perceive the world is being mean to me?

Here’s what I’ve come up with.

Own My Weakness

It would be easy to blame my failing on my circumstances.

I don’t know where the May mortgage is coming from.

I don’t have that job yet.

I am hurting and scared.

Here’s the problem…

Those haven’t always been my circumstances…

But too often I’ve responded just like yesterday.

When I am overwhelmed by perceived pressure, I lash out at those closest and dearest to me.  That is not ‘Jon just being Jon’.

That.  Is.  Sin.

I’m trying to earn the approval of the world and God by my own actions.  And when it becomes more than I can handle, when it gets too big and I realize I am too small, I go off like the Hulk with an abscessed tooth.  In my hurt, I hurt others.

That is so ugly to see written down.

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it…”

‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’ – 2 Cor. 12:9 (NIV)

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19

There will be trials and troubles.  But I’m not alone.  My God’s got this.

I just need to remember to give it to Him.

Own your weakness before it owns you.

Instruct With Whispers

I have a few gifts.  One is that I have a voice.  A big one…

A voice that cuts through…

Rises above…

Stills with swiftness…

…and can cut people down.

That.  Is.  Sin.

There seems to be no shortage of opportunities to raise my voice, but there is a definite lack of ones where I should.

Tearing someone down from a bully pulpit in front of a crowd makes restoration really difficult.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)

Be Quick To Ask Forgiveness

Shame has this great way of isolating you.  It keeps you silent, thinking more words would just lead to more harm.

That is a lie.

Your shame-induced silence can cement the foundation of the hurt you’ve already caused.

Silence fertilizes the roots of bitterness.

Forgiveness heals.

Teach your children the power of forgiveness by asking them to forgive you when you mess up (and you will mess up).

Here was the 2:00 a.m., can’t sleep, Litmus test I gave myself.

Had my daughter’s boyfriend or husband treated her like I had…

I would’ve punched him.

Period.

And don’t gloss over it like it never happened. 

Don’t trivialize it with a simple “sorry”.

Sorry is what you say when you spill the milk.

I don’t want my daughter to think for a minute that this was an acceptable way for her to be treated…because it wasn’t.

I was wrong.

I need to ask for forgiveness.

Father, I want to love my children like you love me.  I want the moments of grace and gentleness to be so many they overwhelm my lapses of sinfulness and stupidity.

My only chance of being a father who rarely fails is to be firmly in the hands of a Father who is unfailing.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a beautiful little girl who means the world to me who needs to hear that from her dad.