Superman

I have a Superman complex.  Think it stems from the fact that I feel that if I'm not uber-useful to everybody - I'll be of no use to anybody.  So here is a old post from a couple of years ago.  Not sure I've grown all that much...

So I'm driving up to Indy to be with my mom while she has surgery.  Knee replacement isn't usually considered life threatening, but say what you want about the Porter family, we are a pretty tight-knit group.  So there I was, driving on 465, trying to get a grasp on why I was feeling so tired and defeated.

I think it started on Friday.  Friday is my day off, at least in principal, and I was spending this one with Rebekah.  We had just finished off our gourmet lunch at "Old McDonald's", which was selected on the basis that they have the best toys, and I told Rebekah I had to run by the church.  It kind of took me by surprise when she said, "no Daddy."

But we went any way.

3 hours later I drove my sleeping daughter home.

I had spent those 3 hours with someone(s) other than her. 

And honestly, I don't think I have a thing to show for it.

I injected myself into their drama.  That's what I do, right?  I'm a pastor after all.  That's the gig, isn't.  They talk (or yell, or shout, or cry) and I am supposed to give counsel and comfort.  I point them to God and then the choir sings and there is a bright light and unicorns and fairy dust and lollipops and happily ever after…

Now before you go off on me.  I want to show people Jesus.  I want them to know the fullness of God's grace and mercy.  I want to help.  But lately I have just felt absolutely worthless…

Because deep down I really think I'm something.

I'm a fixer…

I'm Superman…

And I'm beat…

See the problem here is me.  

Not you or your problems.  

Me and me alone…

I've been telling God to sit this one out for too long. 

I've been playing superhero.

And now I feel like I'm drowning because I'm too stupid to take the kryptonite out of my pockets.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

I can't do a thing to fix you. 

 I don't have anything to offer you – save one thing…

Jesus Christ

It is not important if you think of me as a great pastor…

IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT I LEAD YOU TO A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GREAT GOD

Why…

Because when God gets the glory He does immeasurably more for you than I ever could.

Thank you Pastor Charles for reminding me of that, Ephesians 3:20-21 if you are keeping score at home.

So what does this have to do with driving on 465?  Glad you asked.

Five for Fighting has a song titled "Superman", and just about the time I'm passing the airport, it's playing on the radio.

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
I'm only a man
Looking for a dream

I'm only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, to be me

 

And I gotta tell you.  I start crying.  "God, I'm so tired".  "I feel so helpless". 

"I'm a loser".  "I can't fix anything!"

 

I cried all the way to the parking lot.

I sat there for a good while.

 

Then I stopped crying and decided to wait for God to answer me.

You wanna know what He said?

 

"Take off the cape..."

 

I don't have to be the guy who leaps tall buildings in a single bound…

            I'm just called to be the doorman who ushers you in to His presence…

 

I don't have to be more powerful than a locomotive…

            I'm just called to be the porter (funny, get it?) who directs you to the right track…

 

I don't have to be faster than a speeding bullet…

I just have to remember that if they came after Jesus…

I can expect to take a pounding every once in awhile myself

                                                                                        

Need thicker skin. 

Quit taking it personal. 

I'm not nearly that important.

 

What I'm trying to say is I need to give God all the glory.  

I can only point you to Him.

I'm not Superman…

I'm the guy who says, "Look, up in the sky…"

 

It is now 2:26 on Tuesday morning.  

I haven't slept because thoughts of the Community Church of Greensburg and Batesville keep dancing in my head.

I'm sorry if I've let you down by not being the superhero you thought me to be…

Or by trying to make you believe I ever was a superhero to begin with…

All I can do is point you to Him.  You'll decide what you do with Him.

 

I'm retiring the cape.

I'm going to say a prayer for CCGB and all the drama and pure joy that come with it.

I'm going to pray for all of us…

And then I'm going to put CCGB, and myself, to bed.

What is this thing called love?

Starting a new sermon series soon and would like your help.  What is love to you?  What does it look like? How does it act?  Honest responses only please.  Optimists, romantics, realists, pessimists, and cynics all are welcome.  Be anonymous if you'd like.  Thanks