I wonder if this is how God feels...

I wonder if this is how God feels…

It has been a remarkable season watching Kate (my oldest) run cross-country for her junior high team. 

Remarkable in the sense that she has received no genetic gifting whatsoever for this endeavor from her father.

Remarkable in the fact that 2 months ago Kate had never run a single mile.

Remarkable in the way that God has worked on me through all of this.

It’s hard being an overprotective father at a cross-country meet.

The gun goes off…

Off they go…

Out of sight…

Out of your protective care…

What if she falls?  What if she gets lost?

What if she gets sick?

What am I suppose to do?

Wait

Watch

Cheer

Since her first meet (running at around 17:00), 

Kate’s single goal was to qualify for the state meet.

She watched as her best friend qualified.

She watched as new friends qualified.

She got excited as her times steadily dropped with each meet.

She fretted for two straight meets as her times went the wrong direction.

She celebrated as the whole team qualified for the state meet,

but she wasn’t content.

“I will qualify as an individual.”

She became Donna Quixote and 14:30 was her windmill

Last night, with fall definitely in the air, the starter’s pistol once again signaled the start of another pursuit and the last chance to qualify as an individual for state.

Kate looked so strong

(even though she is one of the smallest out there)

Kate looked so beautiful

(just like her mom – I need all the points I can get)

Kate looked so determined

Kate looked so at peace…

            and then she was gone           

                        swallowed up by the pack

                                    overtaken by the trees

And all I could do was…

Wait

Watch

Cheer

This was Kate’s race.

Her competition was herself.

I couldn’t fix things. 

Make things better.

Guarantee her a happy ending.

On the other side of the finish line was a life lesson

written out just for her.

Regardless of the outcome,

Kate was going to learn something about herself.

And all I could do was…

Wait

Watch

Cheer

As she crossed the finish line I came to a realization and placed my stopwatch/iPhone into my pocket

Her victory this day would not be defined by place

Her worth could never be factored out in increments of time

Kate left nothing out on that course 

And although she was not the fastest,

there was no one out there more determined.

As we walked towards each other, tears filled both our eyes. 

No words 

She just needed her Dad to hold her for a minute

I wondered if this is how God feels…

     When we fall into His arms

            Exhausted

                  Weary

                      With nothing left to give

I wondered if this is what God waits for us…

            to fall into His arms

                    Win, lose or draw

                        Seeking Him as our refuge and strength,

                             above any accolades, awards, or ribbons

I wondered if this is what God longs for…

That moment when we realize that we have a Father in Heaven

who will throw open His arms to hold us when we seek Him out…

regardless of where

or how

or even if we cross the finish line

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

Kate’s time was 14:26

Kate qualified as an individual for the state meet

Her response…

“I know I can go faster…”

I know you can too, Kate Rabbit

I know you can too

But even if you don’t…

There is nothing you can do, or not do

That will make me love you more or less...

I wonder if that is how God feels…