Been awhile since we last talked.
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and are facing this new year with excitement and promise.
I've turned a few corners of late. Growing up in a lot of areas.
Hopefully it is showing. Still have a long way to go.
Taken some shots lately as well.
Taken them all personal - which I know is dangerous and wrong.
Because of that I'm a little wounded and nervous.
No real reason to be - just am.
I've let it affect me. As a husband. As a father. As a child of God.
And last and definitely least - as a pastor.
I am questioning everything anymore - except that I am a hopeless sinner and He is a loving God.
I'm learning that I must allow God to define and defend me (heard someone preach that recently).
Easy to preach.
Hard to live.
I think the problem lies in the fact that I am equal parts Incredible Hulk and Winnie the Pooh.
I rage with the best of them - but it is all internal.
I don't want anyone to not like me.
Which is fine until the day Winnie just explodes from the inside out.
My first response is to fight back with the same weapons I'm attacked with.
I'm growing tired of being told that I need to be the "bigger man".
What I really need to be is a kid who trusts that his Dad is bigger and tougher than anything.
And He will never leave me or forsake me.
A good friend helped me see recently that I need to transition from being combative to being confident in who and what God has called me to be and do.
I get that.
But it still seems like I'm always auditioning.
I am the hypocrite Jesus talks about in Matthew 6.
Worse yet - I'm a cowardly one at that.
This has to stop.
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - T. Roosevelt
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: - Romans 8:31-39 (The Message)
I can't (and won't) take credit for the vision I'm called to pursue.
I can only press in to the One I feel planted the vision in me.
I want to know God more and more.
So for all the critics and the haters.
Know that I'm not mad at you anymore.
Matter of fact - I love ya...
And another thing...
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm going to stand
With arms high and heart abandoned.
In awe of the One who gave it all
So if you want to beat this vision out of me...
you're going to have to step into the ring.
Bring a jar of honey when you do.
Hulk and Pooh both love honey.
Peace
