This past week was a rough one.
Church drama
Teen drama
World drama
I am scared by my immediate responses
I am scared by my measured responses
I am just shy of feeling lost...
As a husband
father
pastor
friend
I know what Jon would do...
And therein lies the dilemma
Everyone else seems to know as well
And it seems more and more to be the case that I am judged even before I respond
My reputation has preceded me...
and evidently has been speaking on my behalf
That isn't what I set out to have happen
There was the moment when I was overwhelmed by God's grace
...how He could even remotely love
or forgive
or restore me
But He did (does)
And nothing was impossible because of it
But now I'm overwhelmed by...
Noise
Stress
Drama
All focused on...
Your frailty
Your brokenness
Your lacking
Your pride
Your agendas
Your sin
But in reality, all of it is centered and springing from...
My frailty
My brokenness
My lacking
My pride
My agendas
My sin
See, I've been right all along...
It is all about me
Michael Hyatt posted on Twitter this weekend,
"People lose their way when they lose their why. What's your why?"
What's my why?
...because He loved me first (1 John 4:19)
I'm ready to be overwhelmed by that again
So I need to start asking before acting...
What would love do here?
What a difficult role you have to live in the public eye with so many expectations of perfection. Daunting. It is that grounding in humility and self awareness that to me marks greatness. We are human and broken but we have the ability to choose differently. Exercising that choice in that right moment, to me defines the best we can expect here on this earth. Take your pause time, connect with Him and you'll be ready to serve again.... connected and whole hearted.
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