Monday, August 4, 2014

3 Omelets

3 Omelets
That is my job.  Make the omelets.  They say I’m the best at it.  
I think its just their way of making me feel needed and important.  
After all, its just beaten eggs, cheese, and heat.
But that is my assignment…make the omelets.

Because this is kind of a big day.  First day of school.  The launch of our “best year yet”.  
The promise of new adventures, and friends, and drama, and heartbreak, and laughs, and tears, and ups, and downs, and everything in between.

It is also the official start of the “next year” watch.
Next year, I’ll be in junior high.
Next year, I’ll be in high school.
Next year, I’ll be a senior.

I can hold off on all the “next year” talk.  For now.  Forever.

The youngest is the first one down the stairs, even though she knows she will be the last to leave.  She is ready.  She is smiling.  She is beautiful.  
She is oblivious to how hard life can be sometimes.  
I hope to keep her that way as long as possible.

The middle one comes down next.  Ever notice how sometimes the middle one can kinda just blend in and pass through?  Not this morning.  This morning the goofy, soft-hearted, tomboy came down the stairs a stunningly beautiful young woman.
Now, don’t get me wrong, she’s always been beautiful.  But all of the sudden she’s the kind of beautiful that makes dads worry, hate every boy whose name gets mentioned, and contemplate how they would fair in prison should the need present itself.

Last, but not least, the oldest appears.  She walks in confidence and beauty.  She laughs with her sisters.  They bicker over clothes.  She is ready for this day because she is beginning to gain focus on the days ahead.  She is ok.  She is amazing. 

This is a big day for Thing #1.  She’s driving herself to school.  And that mere fact actually kept her from bickering about taking Thing #2 to school.  
And there was no linger.  As soon as they were down the stairs they were out the door.  Driving off.  Forgetting to give dad a kiss.

“I only have one more of these days left”, she says.  Wow…  
Breakfast just got real.  These moments are finite.  And precious.
My first thought is how I wish I could slow all this down.  To find a way to continue to be needed to make the omelets.  To keep them young.  Safe.  Home. 

Because very soon…
I’ll just need to make two omelets.
Then one…

Then their mom and I will start enjoying all that time we have together to reconnect that we talk about know.  Just the two of us.  Hopefully living somewhere consistently warm, where we’ll take our early morning walks down to the local coffee shop.  And every day we’ll order the same thing.  Read the paper…

and count the days until our babies bring their babies to visit us.
And I’ll make omelets…or Grandma will make chocolate chip pancakes.

But as fast as we seem to be hurtling towards that day, today is not that day.
Today I made omelets.
3 omelets

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

How To Help Your Kids Write Your Funeral

I’ve lost count of how many funerals I’ve officiated over the years.  But of all the funerals I’ve been blessed to be a part of one stands out to this very day.

It haunts me.
It resonates.

I was asked to do a graveside service in early winter.  The kind of day that is bathed in grey and the type of cold that just sinks into your bones.
I had no connection with the family.  I was simply the “pastor of availability”.
Conflicting schedules made meeting with family prior to the service impossible.
I was flying blind…

Approaching the gravesite, the daughter of the deceased grabbed my arm.
“Don’t preach him into heaven.  He’s not there.”

The hurt was overwhelming.

How does a father allow this to happen?
How can we make sure it doesn’t happen to us?

Start by helping your kids write your funeral service right now.
Begin today on being purposeful with what you leave.

Leave Resolution

Just recently, I was a part of two funeral services that could best be described as dysfunctional.  Conflict between siblings made everyone uncomfortable.  
Kind of like dancing on a powder keg with your shorts on fire…

Start now by teaching your children how to handle conflict effectively.
Demonstrate forgiveness – both the giving and receiving of.
Show extravagant grace.
Help the healing.

And when all else fails…
Step in the middle and put a stop to it.
You’re the dad, for goodness sake.
Dad up.

And then go back to the first three things mentioned and start the process all over again.

Leave Laughter

Create moments of joy that kick sorrow in the teeth.
Every belly laugh…
Every “roll on the floor” wrestling match…
Every “oh, Dad” roll their eyes at you moment…
…Will come back and wrap comfort around them like their favorite blanket when you’re gone.
Trust me.

Leave A Legacy Worth Leaving

Notice I didn’t say inheritance.  Inheritance brings to mind money.
I’m talking about something even more valuable.
I’m talking legacy.
“My dad loved my mom.”
“My dad was kind.”
“My dad was an honest man.”
“My dad was always willing to help others.”
“My dad was loving and kind.”

At the end of our story we will have left our children moments that shape their “my dad was…” statements.

What will the moments you live now say about you then?

Leave Hope

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 (ESV)
13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.

The single greatest thing that you can do as a father is to make real Jesus Christ to your children.

“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness…”
There is no greater hope than this.

Leave Directions

In John 14, Jesus comforts His disciples with the promise of a home beyond this physical life.  Jesus assures them by reminding them of the work that He has already been doing in their lives.

“And you know the way to where I am going.” – John 14:4 (ESV)

Jesus could say this because he had invested in them, walked beside them, taught them.

Jesus led.

And I know…
At the end of the day the choice to follow Jesus isn’t in your control.
But them knowing the way is.

Dads lead.
Period.

How do we do this?
Follow Jesus first.
Don’t worry about showing your kids Christ.
Allow them to see Christ in you.

Recently, I was blessed with the opportunity to celebrate the life of a beautiful lady.  I was able to sit with her and plan her funeral.  It was an amazing experience.

My friend left her daughters with so much…
But 3 things stuck out to me.
Life isn’t always fair.
God is always faithful and good.
And there is always a reason to dance.

Amidst tears and laughter, we said our goodbyes for now.
And while my friend’s favorite song played, her daughter took the hand of her grandfather and they danced.

And soon the whole room was dancing and swaying to the rhythm of a beautiful life.

Now that’s how you write a funeral…

Go make the moments that will write yours.











Thursday, May 22, 2014

Am I...?

“Am I the son I think I am…
Am I the friend I think I am…
Am I the man I think I wanna be…?”
I Am – Train

We will all come upon a time when everything is shaken.  And it is during these violent tremors that ripple through the hot mess of our lives that what yesterday was not even remotely pondered today becomes the 3:00 in the morning question that robs us of our sleep…and our peace.

“Am I…?”
good enough…
rich enough…
strong enough…
happy enough…
loved enough…

“Am I…enough?”

It strikes me that all my “am I” questions end, either consciously or sub-consciously, with an “enough.”
So these questions, at their core, are the cry of those realizing they are empty, insufficient, lacking.

Muhammad Ali carved a place for himself in our history by shouting,
“I am the greatest!” 
And for a time, that was hard to deny.
When we flip the question into a statement, when “am I” becomes “I am,” we are making a declaration of identity. 

In John’s Gospel, Jesus makes that statement, “I am”, eight times.

I am the bread of life – John 6:35, 48
I am the light of the world – John 8:12, 9:5
Before Abraham was, I am – John 8:58
I am the door – John 10:9
I am the good shepherd – John 10:11
I am the resurrection and the life – John 11:25
I am the way, the truth, and the life – John 14:6
I am the true vine – John 15:1

When I find myself scared, doubting, and asking, “am I”…I have to honestly ask myself, “do I?”

Do I believe what Jesus said about Himself is true?
If it is, then the implications and impact are tremendous.
Every aspect of our very real, everyday lives would be impacted.
If true, this is a game-changer.

So let’s think about our “am I” questions.
Let’s also work off the premise that Jesus is exactly who He said He is.

Look at Jesus’ “I Am” statements and insert your name in the places Jesus uses “the.”

I am Jon’s bread of life.
I am Jon’s good shepherd.
I am Jon’s way, Jon’s truth, and Jon’s life.
Before Jon was, I am.

What difference does each of Jesus’ statements make in your circumstances,
Your career,
Your family,
Your marriage,
Your life

Fear will make you ask, “Am I enough?”
Jesus says, “I AM…”


…more than enough.

This was originally posted at Job 31 Ministries website.  
I am honored to be a part of this great ministry.  
Please check out their website at www.j31.org 

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Beyond Us

Its beyond me…”

How many times when faced with seemingly impossible circumstances have we thrown up our arms and made that statement?

Face those circumstances as a group and we can easily change the statement to the plural its beyond us

There is no humanly possible way we are going to be able to pull this off, make this change, restore this relationship, or move that mountain.

This is a great place to be in.

Seriously.

To get to the life that is beyond usweve got to get beyond us.

Ephesians 3:20 (New International Version)
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Ephesians 3:20 (Amplified Bible)
Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]

How many times have we limited what God can do in our lives because we only ask Him to help us do what we can do on our own?

How many times have we simply not asked, because we have such a myopic view of the power and glory of God?

Everything that is beyond us is right in Gods wheelhouse.

Committing to live a life that is beyond us means not only knowing that God is infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams”…


But living like we know He is

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Lessons From My Grandpa

Guest post today from my best friend, Kim Porter, 
on the anniversary of her Grandfather's homecoming.


One year ago today my Grandpa, James Barnes, went home at the age of 92.  He was a proud  veteran of WWII, a navy man, and a member of the Greatest Generation.  As his granddaughter I was privileged to hear his stories, jokes and wisdom.  I am reminded today that his wisdom came from his experiences in life.  Actually anyone of us who have parents and grandparents from the Greatest Generation have been influenced by the same  experiences.  

My grandfather left an impression on us that we will not soon forget. His worldview was shaped by his experiences and he sought to teach us as well.  The following poem written by my sister not only speaks of the lessons that he taught us but I am sure you may have been taught as well.

GRANDPA-Less

Today I realized I am GRANDPA-Less.
But there's More NOT Less Grandpa living in me.
He left me a legacy with actions much greater than his words.

Always do what's right.
Stay committed and cherish your wife.
Love each and every day.
Don't keep your emotions at bay.

Give what you can.
But never spend more than you earn.
Take excellent care of what you got and it will last much longer than you thought.
Take the time to laugh and play.
But work hard and do what the Bible does say.
Never skip church even on a rainy day.
Always arrive early...5 minutes early is 10 minutes too late.

Whatever you do...do it at your best.
Then take time for a good night's rest.
Eat for enjoyment never counting the cost.
For these are moments we have together that shouldn't be lost.
End each time together with a kiss...Grandpa, we know you liked them on the lips!

Speak your mind and stand by your convictions.
Love your country and pray for its direction.

Take time for family...it's the only one you'll have.
Make each person feel special.  I know Grandpa you have.
Be proud of who you are and who you are to become.
Always look heavenward to the Holy One.
Tell your story...because time goes by fast...remember it's your story that through 
future generations that will forever last!

Yes, today, I say good-bye to my last grandpa.  I AM GRANDPA-Less...
But, Grandpa, I guarantee your legacy will live on because there's no doubt in my mind that there's MORE not less Grandpa living in me.
Thank you Grandpa for not leaving me GRANDPA-Less.
                                                                                                                 
Lisa Fogg

As I read this poem I am reminded to listen to the stories of others and to be sure to tell my story to my children.  

God Bless
Kim

Friday, April 25, 2014

Moment by Moment

But it only seemed like a few days, he loved her so much.
Genesis 29:20b - The Message

I think the mistake we make is we measure so much in the language and confines of years.
What we fail to realize is that it is the moments that count...

Moments of laughter
Moments of tears
Moments of expectancy
And moments of uncertainty

Moments of life and love

Most of the greatest moments in my life have been shared with Kimberly Michelle Porter
Who has made sense of the madness that is Jon Porter
Who has made sense, and joy, and purpose of my moments...

I regret those moments that were spoiled by my selfishness
And I treasure the fact that she has continued to love me through all those moments

I give God all the praise for every moment
I give God praise for being faithful to restore and repair those times when I've been less than stellar
Our marriage has never been perfect
But our God has always been faithful

On March 25, Kim and I celebrated 19 years of marriage
She is more beautiful than ever
She is more Godly than I can imagine
She is more loving than I could possible deserve

And I commit to love her


Moment by moment

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Less Like Scars

I am having a bit a trouble putting thoughts to words recently...
Wanted to share this with whoever needs it today like I do.



Peace

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Still Standing...

I didn't want to.  I put it off as long as I possibly could.  I don't like to run.  At all.  But there I was, staring down the treadmill, trying to will myself to start.
Who am I kidding?
It took all I had to just stand up.
But then I met Jane.
Jane is a 8 year old hero of monumental proportions.

Jane Richard was 7 years old when the bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon.  Jane's mother suffered a head injury.
Jane lost her older brother to evil and cowardice.
Jane lost her leg.
But she didn't lose her smile, her courage, her hope.

I don't know Jane Richard at all.  I just saw a picture of her showing off her new prostetic leg.  It's called, "The Cheetah".
And there she was...
Smiling
Ready to run
But most importantly, still standing

When your world seems to be crumbling all around you it's so easy to want to cower in the rubble.
You were never made for the rubble.

It's not a matter of if your world will be shaken...
It's a matter of when.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. - Ephesians 6:13

Sometimes all you can do is stand.  But that is where you start.  I've always thought that I'd be the kind of guy that could take a punch and keep standing.  A real "You never knocked me down, Ray" sort of fella.  I was beginning to doubt that.
And then I met Jane.

Stop whining
Pray more
Dream bigger
Love extravagantly
Live always

Still standing...

Introduce yourself to Jane with this video.  Check out the smile!
http://boston.cbslocal.com/video?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=9973104

Check out my new website:
www.jon-porter.com


Friday, April 11, 2014

To My Daughters (Whom I Love...)

I'm struggling here.
Seems like I'm not a part of your world much anymore.  
Taking a little getting use to.  Didn't use to be like that.

Use to be you would plop the whole of your world right into my lap.  
We would turn page after page after page.

We would talk about all the places you'd go...
and not forgetting the soap...
and the perils of giving a mouse a cookie... 
We would say "goodnight, Moon" and I would say I'll love you forever.

But lately your world is encapsulated in a 2.31x4.5 inch battery powered box.
Where there is...
no filter
no grace
no forgiveness
and no common sense

Don't let the world define you in 140 characters or less.
You are so much more than that.

Now let's talk about boys.
I don't like them.
Any of them.

I watch how they preen and strut in public and social media like peacocks.
I don't like peacocks.

I read how they think women are objects.

And I want to punch them.
And then I want to punch their parents.

To them you're a conquest...
A chance to let everybody think how 'bad' they are.

I know how 'bad' I am.

You are not a conquest.
You are a princess.  
A priceless, beautiful, fragile vessel of potential and promise.
You are my baby.
My daughter.

And because of that you may not like me for awhile...
And that's ok.

See...
Boys just have to win your heart.
You're heart is stupid (relax, all of ours are)
Boys have to earn my trust.
That won't be easy.

How can I say all of this?
I was once one of them.
I have the acid washed jeans, mixtape, and picture of me with a mullet to prove it.

I grew out of it.
Some of them might as well.
Maybe.  
Someday.

But until that happens, I want you to know I don't like them.
More importantly, I want them to know I don't like them. 

BTW - to any possible suitors for my daughters
Remember Liam Neeson's character in Taken?  
I thought he was soft.

And another thing...
I know you have been hurt.  I am so sorry.  
You've grown stronger.
You're healing.
I'm proud of you.

People have hurt you because they covet your shine.  
Wasn't it Taylor who sang "people throw rocks at things that shine"?
So keep shining.

And pray for your dad.  
When you hurt, I hurt and want to hurt those who've hurt you.
Evidently that's frowned upon.
God's grace is infinite.
Mine is finite.
Pray that I always use His, because with some of these folks, mine is below fumes.

I know this is long...
Do what you want to do.
Be who God created you to be.
But do and be with all you have and are.

Don't settle.
Push yourself.
Forgive yourself.
Dare yourself to be more than you've ever imagined.

You are a Mount Vesuvius of potential, strength, character, talent, faith, compassion, grace, mercy, love, beauty, and awesomeness...
...and I stand in wonder of every moment you announce your presence to the world.

You will make mistakes and dumb choices.  
You so take after your dad
(The looks and brains you got from mom - the propensity for stubbornness, impulsiveness, and downright stupidity - that's all me)

And you're going to be ok.

You are so much more than awesome.
You're my daughter.
And whether I'm invited into your world or watch from the edges...

I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always.
I'll be here.


Dad

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Sometimes Dads Fail

Sometimes dads fail.
I did yesterday.  It was EPIC.

I had been carrying the weight of circumstances around all afternoon.  
I had chosen to marinate in the drama and it had soaked in.  
I was fretting.  I was scared.  I was angry.

I was ticking…

What happened is irrelevant.  If I were to describe it I would inevitably try to justify my actions.  There was no justification.  I was a jerk.
I made Gru in Despicable Me look like Charles Ingalls.
I broke the heart of my baby girl.

Which leads me to this…

How do I insure that my children know they mean the world to me when I perceive the world is being mean to me?

Here’s what I’ve come up with.

Own My Weakness
It would be easy to blame my failing on my circumstances.
I don’t know where the May mortgage is coming from.
I don’t have that job yet.
I am hurting and scared.

Here’s the problem…
Those haven’t always been my circumstances…
But too often I’ve responded just like yesterday.

When I am overwhelmed by perceived pressure, I lash out at those closest and dearest to me.  That is not ‘Jon just being Jon’.

That.  Is.  Sin.

I’m trying to earn the approval of the world and God by my own actions.  And when it becomes more than I can handle, when it gets too big and I realize I am too small, I go off like the Hulk with an abscessed tooth.  In my hurt, I hurt others.
That is so ugly to see written down.

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it…”

‘But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.’ – 2 Cor. 12:9 (NIV)
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19

There will be trials and troubles.  But I’m not alone.  My God’s got this.
I just need to remember to give it to Him.
Own your weakness before it owns you.

Instruct With Whispers
I have a few gifts.  One is that I have a voice.  A big one…
A voice that cuts through…
Rises above…
Stills with swiftness…

…and can cut people down.

That.  Is.  Sin.

There seems to be no shortage of opportunities to raise my voice, but there is a definite lack of ones where I should.

Tearing someone down from a bully pulpit in front of a crowd makes restoration really difficult.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)

Be Quick To Ask Forgiveness
Shame has this great way of isolating you.  It keeps you silent, thinking more words would just lead to more harm.
That is a lie.

Your shame-induced silence can cement the foundation of the hurt you’ve already caused.

Silence fertilizes the roots of bitterness.
Forgiveness heals.

Teach your children the power of forgiveness by asking them to forgive you when you mess up (and you will mess up).

Here was the 2:00 a.m., can’t sleep, Litmus test I gave myself.
Had my daughter’s boyfriend or husband treated her like I had…
I would’ve punched him.

Period.

And don’t gloss over it like it never happened. 
Don’t trivialize it with a simple “sorry”.
Sorry is what you say when you spill the milk.

I don’t want my daughter to think for a minute that this was an acceptable way for her to be treated…because it wasn’t.

I was wrong.
I need to ask for forgiveness.

Father, I want to love my children like you love me.  I want the moments of grace and gentleness to be so many they overwhelm my lapses of sinfulness and stupidity.

My only chance of being a father who rarely fails is to be firmly in the hands of a Father who is unfailing.


Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a beautiful little girl who means the world to me who needs to hear that from her dad.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Blessed to announce...

Hello All,
First, I'd like to thank those of you who come by this site and visit the dysfunction that is the life of Jon Porter.  I hope you have, on occasion, found something that lifts you up, makes you think, and points you to see how God is in all of this thing we call life.

Along the way, I have tried to stay as authentic and transparent as possible.  This is simply a journal of my journey.  I'm glad you come along at times.

Having never set out to write, this next part still blows me away...

I want to thank Michael Fear and www.getbettertoday.com for posting some of my writing.  It is a great website and Michael is a great guy with a great ministry.  Check them out at @GetBetter Tday

Im also honored to announce that I have been asked to be a contributing writer for Job 31 Ministries.  Their website is www.J31.org

J21.org is a ministry with the purpose of encouraging men to "live in Godly integrity, based upon the Biblical blueprint of Job, chapter 31."

Take a moment and check out their site.  I'm excited and humbled to be asked to contribute on a regular basis.  Would ask for your prayers to make much of God with this opportunity.

More announcements to come...
Peace

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Roar Wants No Part Of You

In honor of the Greensburg Pirates Basketball Team.  A repost from this time last year


Benaiah son of Jehoiada, 
a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, 
performed great exploits.  
He struck down Moab's two mightiest warriors.  He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion. 
- 1 Chron. 11:22

Benaiah has to be one of my favorite Biblical characters, even though he doesn't get much publicity.

Here's why...
If I could fake hippiness for a moment

Benaiah did work.
Day in, day out...

He was grinding.
Sharpening.
Sweating.

...and listening.

One day Benny hears a roar in the 'hood.  The kinda roar that comes from the kinda things that have a tendency to ruin one's day.

The kinda roar that kills dreams...
Paralyzes with fear...
Makes you a loser long before the game begins...

The kinda roar that makes you walk away from the fight...
and then echoes in your soul for the rest of your life.

The kinda roar that announces "this is your moment"

Benaiah seized that moment
Jumped into the pit.  Chased the lion.  Did work.

Benaiah ran towards the roar

Every day we will hear the echoes of the roars around us
Every day we will have a moment - to run towards, or run from


Know the funny thing?  The 'roar' wants none of you
It's banking on you getting scared, giving up, backing down

It's trying to get you to think you've messed up too badly
That you just aren't good enough...
Strong enough...
Talented enough...

School's too small, game's too weak, dream's too big...

That's just the roar and that roar wants none of you
Run towards the roar

Benaiah's name means 'God has built'
How cool is that...?

Benny did all the grinding and prepping - but God has built
Makes me think that even the roars we hear - God has built

Because He knows we're ready
Because He knows we've prepped
Because He knows we might be a little scared...
...but He knows He has built this moment

Hear that roar?
That's the sound of your moment
Go do work
Write your story

Run Towards The Roar